Dad-isms #3

8th-grade girls basketball, and daughter #1 is point guard, leisurely taking the ball for a stroll down the court. Very nice of her team and the opponents to wait on her. From up in the stands, I shout her name and yell, 'RUN!' She STOPS in the middle of the court and stares at me in the stands. After the game, I knew that I'd misplaced my priorities when I found myself saying, 'DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ME AGAIN!'

My son's moving from Laredo to go to school and major in computer gaming software and live on his own in Austin. Daughter #1 keeps abandoning the dog she's supposed to be babysitting during winter break like it's some grandchild I've been waiting to spend 'quality' time with, and daughter #2 is . . . well, daughter #2.

So you can tell how far my Dad-isms have gone. Here's the last batch for awhile.

Yesterday’s over my shoulder, but I can’t look back for too long. There’s just too much to see waiting in front of me, and I know that I just can’t go wrong . . . Jimmy Buffett

Make good choices! . . . Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday

Just do it! . . . Nike

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails . . . John Maxwell (author)

The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority . . . Ken Blanchard

And more of mine:

SMILE! Enjoy life! Be happy.

Be positive. Avoid the negative. People need and are attracted to the positive and shy away from the negative (and it’s too easy to a grinch).

Problems don’t get better with time. Take care of them right away.

Take care of your business . . . now.

Set goals. Ask yourself, ‘what have I done today?’ to get what I want.

Ask for what you want. Nobody’s waiting around or trying to read your mind.

ROLE MODELS

Warning: Side Effects of Dad-isms

(Some of this post might be considered PG-13. I have to figure out how to write it without attracting the attention of google-pervs. Forgive the odd spellings.)

I've always had a pretty up-front relationship with my kids; and even though they've normally ignored my Dad-isms, we've openly discussed important, age-relevant issues.

When my older daughter (#1) was about the age of my younger daughter (#2) now, my wife had miscarried twice until she was able to carry our younger daughter to full-term. #1 and I had some very frank and descriptive discussions during that time about pregnancy, secks, life and death, and relationships. This eventually capped with the 'If you give a mouse a cookie' speech I wrote about in Dad-isms #1.

Daughter #2 is much more direct and straightforward than my older kids. My wife, #2 and I were having dinner at Haltom Chinese last week, when I brought up the evils of pre-teen boys (I'm open-minded), anticipating the receptiveness and understanding of daughter #1.

#2 stops me mid-evil-boy sentence and said, 'Mom's done IT. I'd rather talk with her about this.' When pressed, #2 counted our children (a yours, mine and ours family) and detailed that mom had done IT twice and that I had done IT twice, but she'd much rather get the details from mom.

She told me last night that she and mom had talked about IT on the way home from the doctor's office. BUT mom probably didn't adequately explain what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.

A couple of side-notes . . .

Note #1: Haltom Chinese's owner is incredibly nice. Near his cash register, he's posted autographed photos of local pageant contest winners who visited his restaurant. When Daughter #1 became her high school's first-ever homecoming queen (a new school), I joked about him posting her photo (#1 wouldn't do it). But ever since, he's referred to her as 'The Queen.'

As we've continued to eat at the restaurant (we've been loyal for about 10-15 years), he now refers to #1 as 'Big Queen' and #2 as 'Little Queen.'

(okay, watch for spelling)

Note #2: When #1 was about a junior in high school, my wife and I were watching the news, when a story came on about teenagers not considering or uhl secks to be secks (hmmmm? odd name for not being secks).

I immediately recognized this as an opportunity for a Dad-istic conversation and called #1 in to talk about the news story. I confidently explained the news story to her and asked if it was true at her school.

She said, 'Oh no, we call it give ing hehd.'

I'd Dad-isized myself into a corner. Did I really want to know anymore? Think. Think. Think (just like Winnie the Pooh). Hours must've passed, but I replied, 'We've talked about STDs before. Just because it's or uhl secks doesn't mean you don't need to use a condom.'

There is a God. With dad-relieving spontaneity, without taking time to think about dad's ears already bleeding from what he'd just heard, she spewed (bad choice of vowels?), 'I'm not putting some guy's dirty pea nus in my mouth!'

Okay, maybe mice could stopped at a glass of milk.

Dad-isms #2

More temporarily useless tips and advice for my kids

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good. That honour, courage and virtue mean everything; that power and money ... money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil. And I want you to remember this.... that love....true love never dies ! Remember that, boy ... remember that. Doesn’t matter if it is true or not, a man should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in...... got that ? . . . Hub McCann, Second-Hand Lions

In Texas, they don’t worry much, about things they can’t control . . . Jerry Jeff Walker (Keep Texas Beautiful)

And you still can hear me singing to the people who don’t listen to the things that I am saying, praying someone’s going to hear; And I guess I’ll die explaining how the things that they complain about are things they could be changing, hoping someone’s goin’ to care . . . Kris Kristofferson (To Beat the Devil)

If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don’t spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it . . . Priscilla Welch (running legend, author)

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint . . . Isaiah 40: 29-31 (a perfect prayer for old guys wanting to run)

And from me:

Screw credit before it screws you.

Best advice ever: treat everyone as if they have WIFM written on their forehead -- 'what's in it for me?'

Stand up straight. Be tall (there’s nothing better than being tall).

Come up with solutions, not problems or excuses. Find a way to get it done.

Be a leader. People need someone to step up to the plate.

Chew with your mouth closed.

Role Models

Dad-isms #1

When my older daughter was in the 6th or 7th grade, she and her friends spent a lot of their weekend nights at a nearby roller skating rink. Stories soon came home about meeting boys and making out in dark corners. That's when I gave my now-famous 'If you give a mouse a cookie' speech to my daughter and her lip-locking friend about boys' not-so-secret desires (you know the story, 'If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk. When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask for a straw, etc.).

As my kids got older, I thought about what I'd like to leave with them (and what I'd already tried to dump on them) and developed my list of 'Dad-isms.' Dad-isms are quotes, lines from songs, advice I've received, advice I've given and just about any other bit of paternal preaching I could think of. From time to time, I'll share some with you (share with you? who's reading this besides me?).

Here's the first batch:

You gotta roll with the punches . . . George Bowden, Sr. (former boxer)

We've gotta roll with the punches. Learn to play all of our hunches; makin' the best of whatever comes your way. Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition; plowin' straight ahead come what may . . . Jimmy Buffett (Cowboy in the Jungle)

Be there; Play; Make Their Day; and Choose Your Attitude . . . FISH Philosophy (read the book)

If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by . . . Japanese proverb (that may be my favorite looking-back-at-life favorite)

Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in . . . Winston Churchill

And a couple of mine (sort of anyway) . . .

Just remember: they can't eat you.

You don't have to run faster than the bear, just faster than me? What happens if the bear's still hungry? If you start something, give it your best shot.

Role Models