Friday, February 1, 2008

Go Ahead . . . Make My Day

Pardon the mixed metaphor (or whatever you'd call it) . . . I know none of these unpleasantly dispositioned movie characters ever said that . . . but I'm sure each of them lit up the screen with something appropriate to my current mood.

No more than 5 minutes after daughter #2 comes home to tell me that one of the 'populars' -- I'll just refer to her as the Bully Bitch -- shoved a cupcake up her nose, my wife calls just in time to stop me from e-mailing her teachers to demand Bully Bitch's head on a platter.

However, she tells me that daughter #1 just called her to share the conversation with her ex-boyfriend in which he expressed his burning desire 'to be truthful:' For the two years they dated (and pretty much co-habitated during their year at Tech), he continued to see his previous girlfriend.

For those of you picking up the phone to dial 9-1-1, no need to worry. I don't own any guns or sharp knives . . . but I don't think a spineless piece of lying wormshit has the balls to castrate anyway.

As for the Bully Bitch, daughter #2 has some pretty sharp claws.



Whew! Glad we could talk.

4 comments:

C.C. said...

Mee-yow! I hope Daughter #2 got some good swipes in. As for the ex-boyfriend...I think you should try castrating him anyway. I have an ex-husband kind of like that and I wish someone had offered to castrate him!

Laurie said...

Sounds like your week started out like my week.

Leon said...

hmmm.. can't say i've been there.. or done that.. or anything similar..

if that happened to me (or my people you know), the bitch and boyfriend would have to thank the mexican constitution as it prohibits anyone from owning a gun!

or maybe.. i'd just mail them a bag of roadkill as a present.

George said...

Leon . . . would you feed them roadkill or make them roadkill. Thanks for the comment