One of my biggest frustrations as a father has been the geographic distance between my son, now 19, and me and my related inability to significantly influence his attitude. I consider myself a pretty upbeat and positive person, nearly Pollyanna-ish, because I don't see the value in a life-sucks-people-are-stupid attitude and would even label that approach to life as self-destructive. When my son and I have been together, there's always been a transition period for both of us because he's not nearly as outgoing as my immediately family -- much more private -- and his outlook appears to be significantly less optimistic than my other two children.
And then this evening, I found a photo of me taken at the end of my senior year in high school and compared it to one his high school photos that I thought displayed a real dissatisfaction with life (there are even 'better' photos; this is the only one I could find this evening).
What are we so pissed off about?
I remember high school graduation day, when my photo was taken, as one of the saddest days of my life and the topper for a difficult and confusing senior year. I'm sure my son must've faced similar teenage challenges that brought to light a family resemblance like I've never seen in other photos.
He's starting at DeVry in Austin next week to major in computer gaming software, and he's the most excited I've seen him in years, probably since one of those still-believe-in-Santa-Claus Christmas mornings. Having found my old photo as I'm getting ready to move him in to his own apartment, I feel much better now believing that there'll be more 'family resemblances.' Hopefully, he'll experience the same joy I have, when during a morning commute, he'll reflect on his life, smile and say out loud, 'Life is good.'
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
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2 comments:
The best you can do is lead by example and hope some of it seeps in by osmosis. I have the same pollyanna attitude that you do and I am seldom happier than when my 27 year old son seems to "get it."
Actually I feel pretty good seeing him so happy with his new direction (okay, having some direction) and being reminded that I, too, had grim-faced teenage days. Kind of a meet in the middle thing.
So you're saying that by 27 they haven't gotten it all? OH NO!!!
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